Tuesday, December 27, 2011
{ the use of paper. }
Peace be upon all. I'm happy. I'm pretty contented for now. But i'm sick so Alhamdulillah. And i'm kind of confused. unsure. i know i want to do this for now. But some are leaving. It always happens. It's been happening for God knows how long. It sucks. But change is always coming. So i have to be brave and strong and brace myself for what is going to happen. And now, i'm not so sure, i'm just really not sure what i am feeling right now. For who, for why, for fuck. So i'll just be happy day by day and hopefully things get better in my head and around me. And what you said, touched my heart though i didn't really know what exactly was meant by that but yes, i'm kind of touched. A year has passed and in six days, twenty-twelve will come. New Year's Resolution is being planned and InsyaAllah, this year, what i aim, is what i will, WILL, accomplish. So for now, till i come back with some spare time in my hands, Goodnight. And to brndvl, i really don't know what i am feeling. Ok? So goodnight to you. and mhnds.
sairah.
Monday, December 19, 2011
{ All i'm saying is. }
DO IT TO ME ONE MORE TIME. STOP DOING THIS TO ME. NO KEEP DOING IT. JUST DON'T STOP DOING IT. AND DON'T STOP AND THEN START SUDDENLY AND MAKE ME FEEL THIS WAY AGAIN. JUST, DON'T STOP, DON'T. AND JUST, DO IT. KEEP DOING IT. TILL I FINALLY GET YOU. VICE VERSA. GOODNIGHT/MORNING TWO DAYS.
sairah.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
{ Why this .... a di. }
Peace be upon all. Well a lot has been going on. i don't even know where to begin. And i really am considering going on for full time. but.. i still don't know yet. but all i know is for now, i really have no mood to further my studies. i'm not gonna do well if i carry on. for now. i still have ambitions for the future. i just want to see if this job will bring me somewhere. somewhere further that i can finally say, i'm stable and somewhere. still, standing. but for now, i really don't think studies is the best thing for me. i want to know more things. learn more things. to be able to say, "ok, i'll get on to that." "hey i can do that." and not, "give me a minute i'll call someone to assist you." i want to be assisting. Dear God, i need your help and guidance. is this what i should be doing?
sairah.
p.s i really really think, i should stop harping on you. let go. but i, still, sure as hell, can't forget you.
Friday, December 2, 2011
{ Can't shake this feeling. }
I didn't want you to know. i wanted it to be kept a secret. i didn't want you to know. of all people, i didn't want You, to know. it makes me feel like shit every time you do that to me. because the fact is i'd let him slip off my shoulder for you you mean so much more to me. you mean a hell lot more to me than he did. i'd rather lose him than you. i don't want things to change between us. i don't. though i know it is going to anyways. but i can't shake off this feelings that i have for you. you make me feel this way. you make me feel these things. i fully blame you for it. but i like it. i like you. i just can't admit it. i won't. not until you do. InsyaAllah things between us are just the way they were before. i just don't want anything to change, ok? i think about you every minute. every thing i do, every song i hear, every show i watch, all goes back to you. why? why? Why? i don't call this love but this is definitely not just a crush and it's not going away. Goodnight/morning m. falafel.
sairah.